Gender and Development

 Walk into any Generation Next classroom and you will be sure to witness boys and girls happily playing with toys of all sorts and participating in a variety of activities. However, many parents are uncomfortable when their little boy chooses a doll over a truck or their little girl chooses Legos over dress up. The reality of gender specific toys and activities are not known to a child but are rather an adult made concept.

For example, dress up “isn’t so much about gender as it is about creativity and development,” says Anthony Rao, Boston-based psychologist and author of “The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in a Challenging and Complex World.” “One of the big goals in this age range is learning how to take on different roles and take other people’s perspectives and start to understand that the world is full of people who do all sorts of jobs and have all sorts of personalities. A lot of these lessons are learned through play, often by putting on different costumes. This is completely developmentally normal.” This fear relates to gender identity and sexual orientation; however, children dressing up as opposite gender does not have an effect on either.

“The best thing we can do to promote a healthy gender identity in our children is to help them feel that they can choose from a wide variety of interests without gender confusion.” Playing with a range of toys teaches children an array of skills. For instance, playing with trucks teaches children about motion, speed, and angles, cuddling a doll teaches children how to care for another person and prepare him or her to be a nurturing person, and building blocks teaches math, science, thinking, and problem-solving skills.

Furthermore, Generation Next feels very strongly that children need to be cared for and educated by people that resemble those that care for them at home. This includes a variety of people, including men, women, and people of all ethnicities. Our male teachers show the same compassion and pride for their children as their fathers do, which further demonstrates to children that men can be a positive role model in their lives. It also has great, positive influences on those children that do not have a male model at home. Teachers of all kinds enhance Generation Next because they show us different styles of caring, playing, and educating. Children enjoy activities approached from different perspectives.

In conjunction with our encouragement, the following are ways you can also promote a healthy gender identity at home:

• Be a good role model by feeling safe to be active, creative, and sensitive

• Be honest with similarities and differences among boys and girls

• Use correct words for body parts

• Praise boys and girls equally on same tasks

• Encourage children to play with both boys and girls

• Do not assume all girls or all boys like or dislike the same thing, ask each individual

• Children make comments like, “Girls don’t play with trucks!” Explain to children that boys and girls can do many of the same things

• Provide opportunities for boys and girls to watch men and women in a variety of roles

At Generation Next, we encourage children to learn through play of diverse activities and with diverse adults. “We should be helping our boys understand that being sensitive, nurturing, or artistic does not compromise their masculinity. We should be helping our daughters feel free to be athletic or ambitious without threatening their femininity. And we should be talking ourselves off the ledge when our boys want to dress up as girls, because really…it’s no big deal.”